Sex! Yes, it catches our attention every time we see or hear this word. The whole world seems to talk about it all the time or at least think about it; the actors on screen, magazines, friends and somehow even our family members. But how can we decide that the right time to become sexually active for the first time has come.
It is obvious to be curious yet excited, when you get the thought of losing your virginity. What we have to keep in mind is that the right time for making out for the first time varies for each individual. It could be a quick decision for some, while somebody else might ponder upon it for a longer time.
Being sexually active can have a different meaning for different people, but intimacy is all about giving and receiving pleasure in a way that is comfortable for both involved.
So are you up for the first love-making?
You might kick start your sexual journey on the basis of a variety of reasons. That could mean- you just want to have ‘fun’, or you are in love, it could also be because you believe that being intimate makes you feel good or your relationship complete. Some people view it as a surety of commitment and some just want to be more informed of how things work. This may sound very typecasting, but you may want to try it out because all your friends are also doing it.
Facts and myths about the first times
A lot of things crop up when we think of how our first time will be like and the answers are not that simple. Holding a conversation on being intimate could be tricky as it may turn awkward and embarrassing, but if one is not ready to talk about it, then perhaps he/she is not ready to have it.
Some prevalent myths and facts about love making that people believe are –
- You cannot get pregnant or acquire sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) when you have sex the first time.
First Time Sex Pregnancy Chances: the fact is, yes you can! When you think of becoming sexually active, you should first take proper measures to protect yourself, primarily to keep away from unwanted pregnancy and STDs. Make sure you talk to a doctor or a health expert before going for the contraception that suits you the best.
- First time it hurts.
For some, the first time sex can be a breeze as it turns out to be pleasurable and comfortable whereas some might have unpleasant experiences ending up being uncomfortable and hurting. Pain during sex means either you don’t know the moves or you did not get the right amount of lubrication or you need to try doing it in a different position.
Sometimes girls bleed during their first time, but that doesn’t last long.
- The first time will be excellent.
Movies and serials often beautify and exaggerate the first time, thus giving you some unrealistic expectations. It’s perfectly fine if your first time isn’t the greatest. It’s not unconventional to feel awkward or self-conscious of how you look or do. Also, at some points, unexpected activities may happen while making out for the first time, you might be short of breaths or might fart. Too embarrassing, right?
- What will happen after I have sex?
After having sex, especially for the first time, one often goes on an emotional roller coaster ride. Some have good thoughts while others can have confusions. The emotional turmoil can take you on a guilt trip and make you worried, whereas for some, it could escalate the feelings for their partners.
Tips for the first time sex
Living in a developing society implies that perhaps you would have heard everything about sex, from others. But if you are one of those unfortunates who are living without much information on sex because your mom never goes out of the house for long walks (for you to get into some action) or your dad asks you to get him a glass of water whenever a sensuous kissing scene starts on the TV, these tips are certainly going to help you out.
Fret not! Presenting you some handy tips for your opening shot: how to lose your virginity without pain,
1) Read about it, as much as you can and go run to your experienced friends for their valuable inputs. Always be encouraged to have safe sex. Ask your partner about his/her sexual health.
2) Create the magic with lubricants and scented candles, but don’t forget the most important thing- contraceptives.
3) Talk about all the romanticism you want to experiment with your partner and discuss what you both are not comfortable about.
4) Foreplay is extremely important for the actual act to happen smoothly. Wax/ shave, take a shower and wear some nice fragrance on, with your best undergarments. A good setting always works.
5) Not everyone has an intact hymen and it is OK if you did not bleed. Cycling, dancing or playing sports probably took away the hymen. Still, if you bleed, don’t worry, it lasts only for an hour or so. If you are a guy, bleeding doesn’t mean that something went wrong. Just relax and keep at it.
6) Un-clench and relax because if you don’t relax, it can hurt a lot as pain is the result of clenched muscles. Also, try and not react wrongly if your “Under” does not “Stand” or your juices decide to go on a strike, it is merely the anxiety and pressure on their peak.
7) Keep your phone switched off because you don’t really want to get a call from your mom while you’re at it!
8) Just for you to know, it’s not forbidden to talk while having sex. You can let your partner know what’s on your mind, do some dirty talking (make sure your partner is okay with it) and improvise.
9) You didn’t orgasm? No problem! Remember, practice makes one perfect and more than that, faking orgasm is not worth it, really.
10) Men, please it is not a big deal if she didn’t orgasm, what is more important is the fun she had while you were trying to give her one.
Bidding a goodbye to your virginity, while having sex for the very first time is a new chapter that your life unfolds. Whatever it may mean to you, reckoning the perfect time for your first encounter is your personal choice, regardless of your intentions as we may sometimes regret our moves, but what matters more is how you move forward.
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